Today has been so difficult and so confusing. Until about 5:30 p.m., when her Auntie Sue came to visit, Mina had been lethargic, unwilling to go for a walk longer than 50 feet, sad, and not drinking much water nor eating her usual amount of food.
Auntie Sue showed up and she suddenly became perkier, but still panting constantly, and we just came in from a walk to the leasing office and back. Mina is definitely not as energetic nor as active as she was a week ago, but earlier today I figured she was knockin’ on heaven’s door. She may well be, but for now she seems happier.
Outside her friend Max's door today
Oh you know it’s probably being around me bringing on the sads, I don’t deny it.
I spoke to Dr. Nolan just now and she wants to increase Mina’s dose of Prednisone and told me that Mina will take it until she dies. In an effort to calm her enough to sleep at night, I’m to give her 25-50 mg. of Benadryl, which I have on hand from earlier this year when she needed it for anxiety. So, we’ll try the Benadryl tonight and up the Pred in the morning. We don’t know if it’s the cancer or the Pred causing the constant panting, but there is a golf ball-sized lump just under her chin that, just a two weeks ago, was loose skin with a tiny lump in the center. Something bad is going on there and it’s pressing against her throat.
There isn’t going to be any fantastic good news at this point. There is no more chance for recovery. This is palliative care, period. I’m just happy to see her a little perkier this evening than she was all day. I have no idea what tomorrow brings for us. I only want to face the end of Mina’s life with as much dignity as I can muster, because that’s what she deserves.
s.
It's OK to Talk About the Cancer 