Five months is not a long time, not really. I guess it’s a long time when you’re sad and grieving but in regular, non-grieving time it’s not a very long time at all.

Mina’s been gone for five months today. I can hardly believe it because I miss her so much; as much as I love her. It still astounds and saddens me to realize how completely different my life is without Mina, and not in a good way. Sure, the furniture is the same but everything else is changed. Mina made everything better. I wasn’t alone, I had constant unconditional love, undying loyalty, a cheerful presence that I could feel even when I wasn’t in the same room with her. I knew she was there.

mina at ecow

Mina at ECOW on 4.25.09, taken by Carole of Chow Now Petfood

On the rare occasions when Mina was at a groomer’s for several hours or she had to go to her overnight petsitter’s the evening before I left on a trip, I got a small taste of what life was like without her. I never enjoyed those hours, I hated them. I remember thinking that someday this is what my entire life would be like, but I’d shake it off because I knew we’d be together soon. I told her every single time that I walked out the door without her that I’d be back. I promised her I’d be back and I kept that promise.

I wish I’d been able to promise her a few months of cancer-free life after all that she suffered last year. I wish …