Everyone who shares their life with a canine knows about The Rules. You don’t violate the rules. If you do, then you should expect retribution for which you cannot say a single word. Here are some of Mina’s rules, and I did my utmost to live by them:

  • When you come home from work, you stay home. No leaving to go out unless I come along.
  • If you’re going to be late from work, or from some other event which for some unknown reason I cannot attend, you will call my petsitter to come take me outside.
  • Take me with you whenever possible and try very hard to go only where I’m welcome.
  • Never, ever leave me alone overnight.
  • It’s my walk. We will go where I choose, walk at my pace, and stay out until I am ready to return home.
  • Treats are the rule, not the exception. Have plenty on hand.
  • Toys are a necessity. I don’t always nap the entire time you’re at work, you know.
  • Don’t make me wear clothes. I’m a canine, after all.
  • Never touch the feet!
  • Pay attention when I bark and pull you away from another human. I don’t like that person and I want to protect you.
  • Talk to me when we’re walking or taking a road trip. It comforts me to hear your voice.
  • Wash the damn water bowl.
  • Don’t be offended if I don’t sleep with you, after all, you snore like a logging truck.
  • Rain is not acceptable.
  • Tell me you love me and then show me with half-hour belly rubs.
  • Barking at the window means, roughly translated: “COMEOVERHERERIGHTNOWYOUHAVETOSEETHIS!”
  • All pill things must be coated in peanut butter, at least half an inch thick.
  • I like food; keep it coming.

Mina baby, I may have missed a few but I hope you know how hard I tried to obey every rule to make you happy. You are my joy, my love.