Mina's view from our top floor (3rd) window

Mina's view from our top floor (3rd) window

Mina is feeling poorly, I think. She hasn’t eaten much for the past three days, usually only one small meal per day. She looks very thin. She’s also having some diarrhea and straining, so I’ve called Dr. Cliver’s office and asked for a prescription of Metronidazole. I’ll pick it up today when I run a few errands. **UPDATE** I found vomit in my office full of chicken bits, her only meal yesterday. Add Metoclopramide to my prescription order.

We went for about an hour long drive southeast of Manassas yesterday, through farm country. It was sunny at first, then cloudy the rest of the day but much warmer than it the previous week. Mina seemed to enjoy some moments of the drive, but didn’t stand behind my seat with her head out the window very often.

I’m struggling with a lot of things, and one of them is whether or not to euthanize Mina or let her die in her own time. I’ve read a lot on cancer Web sites that lymphoma itself is not painful. Truly, Mina doesn’t seem to be in pain, she just seems lethargic and not hungry. I’ve read that dogs in kill shelters show great fear when faced with the euthanasia needle, and I want to spare Mina any fear before her death. I just want her to die when she’s ready and as peacefully as possible. There are meds to mitigate any discomfort and she’ll have all she needs, trust me.

We are going outside for walks as often as she wants, and the windows are open now in the living room and bedroom. She likes to bark when dogs or people she knows go walking by.

Now, I can feel all of her peripheral lymph nodes without really trying – they’re that enlarged. The homeopathy protocol doesn’t seem to have much affect on them, but I was afraid it was too late for any medicine to help so I’m not surprised. Disappointed, certainly.

For my whole life, this will always be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.