We just got back from Mina’s follow-up appointment at our regular vet’s. The two lymph nodes – right prescapular and right mandibular (I had that wrong last week) – have grown. So, it wasn’t the mange causing the lymph nodes to enlarge, and I think both Dr. Cliver and I knew that would be the case. She’s pretty certain it’s the cancer, and so am I, but I asked her to perform the fine needle aspirate anyway, so I can have the results when I consult with the holistic vet.

Poor Mina was very stressed and tense during the procedure. Dr. Cliver had to do it twice because the first time the node gave up a thin liquid the color of very pale corn. The typical fluid from a lymph node is thick and so clear you almost can’t see it. So she chose another spot and did the procedure again, and this time they got a sample. The lab should have results by Saturday.

Mina at her station, keeping me safe

Mina at her station, keeping me safe

We discussed the rescue drugs, in particular CCNU, or Lomustine, because that’s the one most prescribed. It has terrible side effects and the odds for success are not very high. I don’t want to make Mina feel sick and possibly permanently damage her liver, or worse, just for a couple more weeks of being cancer free. I’d much rather treat her holistically and hope that it gives her some comfort and good quality of life for as long as possible. It tears a hole in my heart as big as a fist to know that our time is so very limited. I cannot imagine my life without her. I just can’t.

Until that day, we are going to enjoy each others company and I will do everything in my power to make her feel good and much loved. She doesn’t really seem to care for the boiled chicken anymore, so screw it. It’s BEEF! IT’S WHAT’S FOR DINNER from now on.

I’ll have more when the aspirate results are in.