This day has been on my mind for a month now. I keep thinking back to last year and reading the blog posts I wrote and wondering how I’ve gotten to this point – a year without my Mina. I’ve been near tears for days just thinking back on this time last year …
I miss how secure she made me feel in our apartment. I always knew that no one could walk by on the sidewalk or come up the stairs without a warning from Mina. She was a good judge of people and canines and kept us safe from those she didn’t trust.
I miss knowing that she was always close by, even when I couldn’t see her I could feel her presence.
I miss her unconditional love and devotion and understanding. If you’ve never been close to a canine, you’re missing something really fantastic.
I miss Mina every time I walk in the door, knowing I won’t see her happy face and wagging tail. I miss her on trips to the winery, drives out to the country, road trips …
Sometimes I see her; a flash of a tail going by behind the couch, a glimpse of her face at the window when I come home from work, in the way some dogs greet me as if I’m their long-lost best friend when it’s the first time we’ve met …
I’m not sure what I’ll do today – maybe I’ll go for a drive or visit some interesting site to distract myself from revisiting that awful morning. I wish I could sit by the river in my hometown and watch it flow by on its way to the Gulf or sit at Green Key beach in the sun. The goal is not to sit in my apartment and relive this day last year and spend it grieving and crying. Mina gets very upset when I’m crying and sad and, as Tosca’s mom reminds me, she wouldn’t want me to spend the day that way.
Mostly I wish she was here for me to take care of because I miss being the light of her life.
Mina, taken by her Auntie Lolo not sure of date but that's a summer shave
So, this blog … I’ve been writing in Mina’s blog since April 23, 2009. That’s one year, six months, two weeks, and two days. I think it’s served its purpose well and we get quite a few visits from people looking for various information about canine lymphoma. It will stay here to serve that purpose but I’m not going to write here much more. Sometimes when I have a happy memory of Mina I’ll sit down to write it in her blog only to end up crying and feeling the weight of my loss. I don’t want our happy memories to always turn to tears. If, down the line, something comes up that I feel the need to write about, then I’ll do it but it’s time to let it sit.
Mina is happy and safe and warm and loved and having fun in heaven. Sometimes the miracle really does happen on the other side.
Summer 1997, on Mina's graduation day from basic training
All my love …
November 9, 2010 at 7:13 am
Mina was a special girl who showed great dignity throughout her fight. Our first meeting was outside of ECOW when she gave the “Mina stamp of approval” for our food. Every time I saw her after that, she always treated me to a bright eyed tail wagging greeting – I’d like to think she was happy to see me but it was probably more about the food!
Hope you and Mina find time for a nice, long, aimless drive today. Sweet dreams to both of you tonight.
November 9, 2010 at 7:27 am
I didn’t know Mina, but because of your blog and mostly because of you, Sheryl, I do know her. She’s a beautiful girl and when I look at her picture at the top of the page I can’t help but smile in the joy she’s feeling.
Thanks for sharing Mina with me.
November 9, 2010 at 8:10 am
She was so adorable, you both are! You are so lucky to have had such a great friend Sheryl. I have four dogs now and I adore them but there was something special about Mina that I’ve not seen ever before. Sending you huge hugs from Kenya.
November 9, 2010 at 9:09 am
How much you loved her!
Thank you for sharing these happy memories of her and how much you miss her.
I have not read much of Minas blog but in the little I have read I can see the love there was so strong between both of you.
Keep your happy memories strong, I know they will be with you always.
Take care and hugs to you.
November 9, 2010 at 9:34 am
Mina was special… and I know she still is. Her memory will remind you of all the happy moments you both shared over the years. And where she is, she is looking down and remembering all the good times. And how you were by her side all the way to her last days
in her most difficult time.
Am imagining her saying to the other heavenly dogs.. ‘that is my human… the best human a dog could ever have’
November 9, 2010 at 11:23 am
I think of Mina often and at the most unexpected of times. When I see my girls race around I think of how they would circle Mina while she was sleeping and then evaporate when she moved. I remember the fun Mina and I had making her paw print for you when she stayed overnight. I got 3 chances; that was all.
She and Ariadne are happy and having a good time now. We won’t ever forget.
November 9, 2010 at 10:49 pm
She is there in the light and the wind and the rain, every miracle moment in nature is a glimpse of Mina. And of course, the snow
one of Mina’s favourites!
November 10, 2010 at 6:59 pm
Mina was a mischief-maker when she was a puppy. One of the best memories I have of Mina is also one I have of my previous dog, Logan. Usually, Logan was very well behaved, but get the two of them together and there would be all manner of trouble.
They were being very quiet one evening and I hadn’t been paying attention to them. When I went looking for them, I found them on my bed. Not just laying on the bed, mind you. No, they were trying to pull all the stuffing out of my comforter.
As I walked into the room, they were both on the bed, each with stuffing hanging from their snouts. I tried to be mad, but they both had that “What, me?” look and I just had to laugh.
Now, since Logan had never done such a thing before, I knew it was Mina who had led him astray. She was quite a handful as a puppy!
I hope they are both together now, playing with abandon and ripping through as many comforters as they can find.
November 10, 2010 at 8:27 pm
I have to laugh because Mina and Goldie did the same thing to a comforter of mine. I caught them in the act! I tried sewing the holes but ended up replacing it. Goobers.